Nice Guys Finish First... And Die Last. By Jon Gordon If you believe the adage that “nice guys finish last” then you haven’t met Tom Gegax. A number of years ago as the founder of Tires Plus he received what he terms a three ring wake up call. In the span of several months his 25 year marriage ended, he found a cancerous lump on his neck and his growing upscale tire store chain almost went bankrupt. He proceeded to get cancer treatment for his neck, therapy for his depression and took emergency steps to save his company from financial ruin. Several years later he was cancer free, his company was back on track and through intensive therapy he learned that he cared a lot more about recognition, money, success and winning the approval of others than really helping and caring about people. Tom realized he wasn’t so nice. And so, Tom, who found his soul, became a different kind of person, a different kind of boss, a different kind of spouse. Years later this nice guy really did finish first, selling his company for a small fortune—sharing the revenue with life long employees and people who helped him get started decades before. You might say well, Tom is just one person. Nice guys really don’t’ finish first. What about all the bad guys with a “win at all cost” attitude who seem to have it all. To answer this question let’s first define what it means to be nice. For this article “nice” doesn’t mean sitting around holding hands and singing kumbaya or running a company, division or team without any regard to goals, work ethic, focus and results. But rather a person who is nice means they are positive, compassionate, and empathetic. They hold people accountable and posses a high level of emotional intelligence. They like people and people like them. They don’t walk over people and they don’t let people walk over them. Nice guys want to win and they do so with the support of others and a smile on their face. The research and numbers agree. Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence explains that a positively charged company will outperform its negative counterparts. Also, in a 2000 study by Yale University it was found that the most successful leaders from CEO’s to PTA presidents, all treated their subordinates with respect and made genuine attempts to be liked and this approach garnered support and led to greater success according to Tim Sanders, author of the Likeabilty Factor. Sanders also offers several studies that demonstrate that nice, popular people are more like to receive pay raises and promotions and achieve greater success in the work place. So what about the Bad guys? Why do so many of them seem so successful? Actually, they are more so the exception rather than the rule. There just seems to be so many of them because they are more noticeable and more likely to stand out, like a blemish on a clear face. Like the villain in a movie you can’t take your eyes off them and so you focus on them. And while they may enjoy the temporary spoils of wealth, power, and even fame, just as in the classic movies, eventually their luck runs out and good wins. Bloggers expose their negative ways. Morale eventually sinks and so do profits. Employees leave because they don’t feel appreciated. And sometimes the bad guys even get caught being bad. One only needs to look at all the corporate scandals to see this playing out. The rule for business and life today can be summed like this: Be nice or be history. Literally. Nice guys not only finish first in business but they are likely to die last, living longer than their negative counterparts according to numerous studies. One reason for this is that nice, happy, optimistic people are more likely to have more friends which has been shown to be a key factor in longevity. According to Robert D. Putnam, Ph.D., author of Better Together, “social isolation is as big a risk factor for death as smoking.” Nice guys who reach out to others and develop a network of friends and relationships increase their likelihood of living longer. Another reason that nice guys die last is the pessimism/optimism factor. Always expecting the worst was linked to a 25% higher risk of dying before age 65 in a study conducted by University of Pennsylvania Psychology Professor Martin Seligman, where as optimism is strongly linked to a lower risk of dying from heart disease and stroke. Norman Vincent Peale certainly was onto something when he talked about the power of positive thinking. And he didn’t even know back then about the effect positive thinking had on emotions. Studies show that positive emotions associated with being nice and happy could lengthen life span by 10 years. Turns out the same positive emotions that make you feel good about yourself and others feel good about working with you also make every cell and organ in your body happy, enhancing your health and longevity….and this is a good thing for you, me and Tom Gegax. Just because Tom sold his company doesn’t mean he is done being nice. He continues to consult with small business owners helping them through management and life struggles and by producing movies, writing books, (His newest: The Big Book For Small Business. Harper Collins, Feb, 07) and continuously looking for ways to better himself, others, and the planet….and be nice. He’s already finished first in business. Now he’s just a nice guy taking a nice slow walk to the finish line of life and in this race I would bet he’ll be one of the people that come in last. I hope you do too.
Jon Gordon is a leading authority on developing positive, engaged people, leaders, businesses, schools and teams and the author of the international best seller The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy. Jon’s proven solutions are being put to use by thousands of executives and organizations including the PGA Tour and he has been featured in hundreds of television shows, magazines and newspapers around the world including CNN’s American Morning, NBC’s Today Show, Men’s Health, Forbes, and Positive Thinking. To get your company on The Energy Bus visit www.TheEnergyBus.com
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